As Seen on

Gaslighting and Gaslighters: Exploring the Psychology Behind Manipulation and Control

Gaslighting is a powerful tool employed by individuals with manipulative tendencies, often leading their victims to doubt their own sanity, memory, and judgement. 


Understanding the psychology behind gaslighting is crucial for recognising and protecting ourselves from such toxic dynamics.


At Verity Henton, we have accumulated extensive expertise in this area. This article aims to delve into the various tactics employed by gaslighters and shed light on the profound psychological impact it has on individuals.


What are Gaslighting Tactics?


At its core, gaslighting aims to erode an individual’s self-confidence and create a power imbalance in relationships. Gaslighters employ various tactics to achieve their goals, some of which include:


  • Denial and Discrediting: Gaslighters often deny events or experiences that their victims recall, making them doubt their own memory and sense of reality. They may say phrases like, “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things.” By discrediting their victims’ experiences, gaslighters aim to establish control over their perception of the truth.


  • Blaming and Shifting Responsibility: Gaslighters frequently deflect blame onto their victims, making them feel responsible for the gaslighter’s actions or emotions. 


They may say things like, “You made me do this,” or “If only you were different, I wouldn’t have to treat you this way.” 


By shifting responsibility, gaslighters avoid accountability for their own behaviour.


  • Withholding Information: Gaslighters often withhold information or deliberately mislead their victims, making it difficult for them to make informed decisions. 


This tactic aims to keep the victim dependent on the gaslighter and reinforces the power dynamic in the relationship.


  • Gradual Escalation: Gaslighting typically starts subtly and gradually intensifies over time. 


The gaslighter may start with small lies or manipulations and then escalate to more significant distortions of reality. 


This gradual escalation makes it harder for the victim to recognise the manipulation and may cause them to question their own judgement when the gaslighting becomes more blatant.


Why Do Gaslighters Engage In This Behaviour?


What drives gaslighters to engage in such detrimental behaviour?


Gaslighting often stems from deep-rooted insecurities, the desire for control, and a need to maintain dominance in relationships. 


Gaslighters may feel threatened by their victims’ independence, strength, or assertiveness, and resort to manipulation as a means of maintaining their power and control.


Gaslighting can occur in various types of relationships, including romantic partnerships, friendships, family dynamics, and even in professional settings. 


It is crucial to recognise the signs of gaslighting and take necessary steps to protect oneself from this psychological abuse.


Strategies for dealing with gaslighting


  • Educate Yourself: Understanding the tactics and dynamics of gaslighting is the first step towards recognising it. By learning about gaslighting, you can better identify the signs and protect yourself from manipulation.


  • Trust Your Experiences: Gaslighters aim to undermine your confidence in your own perceptions. Trust your experiences and feelings, and don’t let anyone invalidate them. Keep a journal if necessary, to document events and maintain a clear record.


  • Seek Support: Gaslighters often isolate their victims, making it harder for them to seek support. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide objective perspectives and help you regain your sense of reality.


  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and communicate your needs assertively. Gaslighters thrive on power imbalances, so it’s important to assert yourself and express your thoughts and emotions confidently.


Verity Henton


Verity Henton Private Investigators UK specialises in handling various cases where the client feels they are being gaslighted and we are determined to uncover the truth. 


For more information, give us a call/WhatsApp at 020 3916 5917 or email us at Alternatively, check out our Instagram to stay up to date with our work.